tawa muna

Q. Why do couples hold hands during weddings?
A. It is just a formality. Like 2 boxers, they shake hands before the fight begins.

Pulis: Bakit mo inihagis ang bata sa bintana?
Yaya: Sinunod ko lang po ang utos ng amo ko.
Sabi po ng amo ko, 'wala na tayong Pampers, i- Huggies mo na lang si baby.

What is the most impressive example of Tolerance?
Ah! Golden Wedding Anniversary!

Applicants
2 girls nag-aaply ng work. 1 matalino, 1 bobo
Matalino: Buti ka pa natanggap. Ano ba ginawa mo?
Bobo: Wala. Nung nag-fill up me ng form, nilagay ko sa sex, sure.

Teacher: Write a short story in a few words discussing Religion, Sexuality and Mystery.
Student wrote: "My God! I'm pregnant. I wonder who the father is?"

Sensitive Child
1st day in school...
Mom to teacher - Very sensitive po ang anak ko. Kung kailangan nyo po parusahan, sampalin nyo na lang po ang katabi nya. Matatakot na 'yan!

Love and Marriage Cycle
1-2 yrs : magkasalo sa plato
3-5 yrs : tig-isang plato
5-7 yrs : nagbabatuhan na ng plato
8-10 yrs : wala na silang plato
That is what we call PLATOnic love!

3 brothers named Bu, Chu and Fu migrated to USA from China.
They decided to change their name :
Bu became Buck
Chu became Chuck.
Fu decided to go back to China

Man : I want to divorce my wife. She hasn't spoken to me i n 6 months.
Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are very hard to find!

Do you know why bra makers measure cup size
by "A B C D E F "?
A - almost gone
B - barelly noticeable
C - comfortable
D - damn good
E - exremely big and
F - Fake

Learning French
City - ce vou
Drug - sha vou
Good bye - va vou
Bald - cal vou
Caught in the act - navo cou
Feathers - valahi vou
Not clear - mala vou
Cute - a cou

Chalk
Amo : 'Day, ang chalk na ito para mamatay ang
ipis. Gamitin mo sa pader.
Maid : Opo, ati.
Next day ......
Nagulat ang amo, nakasulat sa pader...
"Epes mamatay kayong lahat!"

Katapusan
Lumindol ng malakas noon....
Nagkagulo and lahat ay nag-panic.
Sumigaw ang isang lalake..
"Katapusan na! Katapusan na!"
Sumagot ang isa pang lalake..
"Tanga, a kinse pa lang."

Tawa pud mo oi! :P

my paypal account

Yehey! I'm so happy today because my EON unionbank debit card is now verified by Paypal. I have been having problems adding just like what i mentioned in my other blog. Well, i just did nothing. I just tried my luck and add my debit card again tonight. Hurray! I got verified! I did not encounter the same error as i had the previous days.


Now, all i can do is hope for more tasks so i could start earning. Look at that - my money is still 0.00. What a pitty!

HR exams

At about 5:00pm today, my colleagues and I took this personality exam entitled Manchester blah blah. It was conducted by one of the HR personnels but was requested by this expat from Spain office. I've been with this company for 7 years already. Why do we get to take some personality exam suddenly? He had his explanations and reasons, but we just find taking the exam weird! I mean, normally, personality tests are done prior to hiring or as part of selection process, right? It just came a surprise when we were set to take the personality test! Well, anyways, we took the exam. I'm interested to know what my personality interpretation be! Hehee!

Oist by the way, this expat is a cuttie. He has a lot of fans - the girls from the other departments. Kami? deadma!

phone call

You know, i have this hobby of answering phone calls in the not so conventional ways. Especially if i'm expecting a call or i already have a hunch who's calling. I realized, my intuitions can be wrong at times...

Ring.. ring... ring... (or should this be kring kring kring? lol)
Me: Hellloowwwwwwwwwwwww (not your typical Hello, good morning, good afternoon, etc)
Caller: Hello, ****? (my real name)
Me: Yup speaking! (not still in your usual polite mode)
Caller: This is D.E. (from Southfield,Michigan)...
Me: Ah hey, hi! how are you? (Ning panick akong beauty! abeh nako ug si Meloy nga akong amiga! ako diay supervisor sa MI! atot!) LOL!

Good thing, i didn't say helllllerrrr? (basin aning higayuna iya nako ipa assess for competency! har har)

a will left for me???!

I have been daydreaming that somebody will give me tons of money then I got this from my inbox today!

The mail wrote....

Mrs. T*** Q. R****
Email: *********@web.southedinburgh.net

Hello Dear,

My name is Mrs. T*** Q. R****, I am a dying woman who have decided to donate what I have to you/ church. I am 59 years old and I was diagnosed for cancer for about 2 years ago, immediately after the death of my husband, who has left me everything he worked for. I have been touched by God to donate from what I have inherited from my late husband to you for the good work of God, rather than allow my relatives to use my husband hard earned funds ungodly. Please pray that the good Lord forgive me my sins. I have asked God to forgive me and I believe he has because He is a mercifu l God. I will be going in for an operation in less than one hour.

I decided to WILL/donate the sum of $2,500,000 (two million five hundred thousand dollars) to you for the good work of the lord, and also to help the motherless and less privilege and also for the assistance of the widows.

At the moment I cannot take any telephone calls right now due to the fact that my relatives are around me and my health status. I have adjusted my WILL and my lawyer is aware I have changed my will you and he will arrange the transfer of the funds from my account to you. I wish you all the best and may the good Lord bless you abundantly, and please use the funds well and always extend the good work to others.

Contact my lawyer (Barrister P***** B****) with this specified email: P**********@netscape.net and tell him that I have WILLED ( $2,500,000.00) to you and I have also notified him that I am WILLING that amount to you for a specific and good work. I know I dont know you but I have been directed to do this. Thanks and God bless.

NB: I will appreciate your utmost confidentiality in this matter until the task is accomplished as I don't want anything that will jeopardize my last wish. And Also I will be contacting with you by email as I don't want my relation or anybody to know because they are always around me.

Regards,
Mrs.T*** Q. R****

Happy moments,praise God.
Difficult moments,seek God.
Quiet moments,worship God.
Painful moments,trust God.
Every moment,thank God."

...

What???? Is this true???? Somebody is about to leave me a fortune!? Man, that's about 100 million pesos!!! I'll be a whooping millionaire then! And i'd be darn if i won't accept it... Then again, who would give me such amount???

It's really interesting noh? I'm very tempted to send an email to the email addy provided... I wish this is all true!!!!! *sigh*

another year - another blessing - another journey

 
Last July 14, i turned another year older, but none the wiser :P I don't usually make a fuzz of my birthday. I don't even celebrate ;) This year, i spent a fortune! Because i wanted it to be special and worthwhile. Special but not grand. Special in a way that it is shared with the people i hold dear. Not all were there, but at least most were. I had a 3-day celebration (murag artista!). First with my family, another with my female friends and a third one with my coworkers. Why 3? Well, for one, i cannot accommodate them all in one setting. I just want a subtle and simple gettogether. 2nd reason, 3 is an important number for my birthday this year. haha! :P

Visit this links should you wish to view the details and photos.

pre bday celebration | my bday celebration | my bday - continuation | post bday celebration

I want to thank everyone for all the birthday greetings and warm wishes. I cannot mention all of your names, but from the bottom of my heart, thank you, thank you. From the text messages (especially gikan sa akong duha ka crush nyahaha!), messages left in my tagboard and comments, messages from Bisdakplanet, scrapbooks and gifts and cards and phone calls - thank you very much for remembering. :)

And most of all, thanks God Almighty for the blessings and the gift of life... :)

civilian attire today

It's a Monday today but everyone here in the office is wearing civilian clothes. Huh why so? Yesterday, i got a text message from my manager telling me that wearing of uniform for tomorrow is waived due to the continuous rain over the weekend. No uniform it is! I forwarded the message to other colleagues and i got a couple of messages back. What type of civilian clothes? The friday dress code or business attire? Whooott? I asked my manager, and he just replied - your choice! Cool! :P

kakusug sa uwan!

Waahh kakusug sa uwan oi! Galagubu ang dugdug daw mubutu ang lab sa kasipa sa dugdug! Nya napa ko diri sa lab... waahh unsaon nalang ni nako pag-uli? If magbaha? madaut akong porma nga naka 4" sandal! Waahhh!!!! Kakusug gyud sa uwan... waahhh!!!!

Gaorder-order napud mi ganina diay pag snacks ug jbee... sus saon na akong diet anih.. mawala lagi ug kalit basta mufriday nah.... di ni magsilbi!

relationship secrets 31-35

♥SORRY♥
Say sorry when you're wrong.

♥SURPRISES♥
No matter how long you've known each other, be open to surprises, both good or bad.

♥TEAMWORK♥
Think for two & always work as a team. Consult each other before making a decision because everything will always affect both of you. Strengthen couple power. In many ways, we have to decide based on what is best for the relationship in favor of our individual selves.

♥SUPPORT♥
Support each other's dream. Be willing to follow your passions, support your partner in his/her decisions & create new ones together. Two heads are better than one.

♥TALK♥
Tell each other's stories. Life goes by so fast & its easy to see how easily couple can grow apart. Whenever something funny, scary, exciting or juicy happened to you or to someone you know, tell each other about it & have your partner do the same. Keep each other in the loop of life, even by email if you have to.

This article is from a forwarded mail and i thought it's worth sharing...

relationship secrets 25-30

♥MEMORIES♥
Remind each other of the old days. Do something that you used to do for each other before. It may even be corny but it made you two together. Experience new things together- from dining into a new restaurant to experiencing street food together to exploring to new places. It's the little surprises that make great memories.

♥MIND READING♥
No matter how long you've been together, do not think that you can read each other's mind.

♥NEEDS♥
Be good to yourself,then be good to your partner. That's what love is all about. Think about your partner. Will it make him/her happy? Will she/he enjoy it? Consider each other's feelings. Be very attentive & sensitive to each other's needs, physically & emotionally, that way your partner learns to do the same for you. Never take your partner for granted.

♥PRIORITIES♥
If one says it's important, then it is! Prioritize each other among other things!

♥SPACE♥
Give each other space. Have dates with your girlfriends, have your boy's night out. If you can't trust each other with this, then don't get married.

I totally agree with the space thing... :)